Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Searching for Sunshine in the Rain...

Can I just say I am discouraged? Bryan and I finally made an offer on a house, and this morning, we received a tip from our Realtor that they are probably going to turn us down and not be very negotiable. According to our Realtor, they have already turned someone else's offer down that was the maximum amount we can afford to pay on a house right now with Bryan's salary. I am so disappointed. I really felt like this was the right house. I don't know whether to pray harder for God to perform a miracle or to try to cope with the reality that we will probably not be able to afford this house (even though it is only truly worth what we have offered... our offer was more than reasonable and fair). Even worse, I am not comfortable staying where we are any longer. Our neighbors are having serious issues with the law, and police officers have been over asking questions. I do not feel safe in my own home, and I really need God to come through for us right now with a new place to live. I feel backed into a corner and helpless, and all I know to do is to look to God and pray for His intervention. We don't have anywhere to go to from here, and either God is going to have to perform a miracle in these sellers' hearts or He is going to have to provide a new option for us that we cannot see right now. I don't even know what to pray for anymore. I am waiting for God. Surely, God will provide for us in this... Doesn't Jesus say that if we seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things (talking about our needs) will be provided for us? We are trying hard to walk by faith and not by sight. I have to admit that things are not looking good. I am upset and confused. I'll keep praying and looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. God always provides for His children. He will meet our needs. I just sure wish I could see how now.

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