New Building Update for Church@The Square

For those of you who have been following along with our church planting journey, here's a short video update from my handsome hubby.

One of God's Greatest Blessings This Year Was...

I know, I know, I know.  I've promised to share my incredible flaxseed hair gel recipe on here.  I've promised to do a review on Once a Month Cooking.  I've promised to share my journey with Devacurl and so much more.  I will post about them.  I really will, but there are so many things that are so much bigger that have been stirring in my heart lately.  So, forgive me... again.  I will get around to those things one day.

But, wow, oh wow! It has almost been a year since our family began this journey diving in full time with the church plant.  You can read my post about that last year here.  We have had some serious ups and some serious nose dives down.  It has been a journey and a season like none other.  And God... He has just been so faithful, so intensely evident, and His grace has completely saturated this past year.

This past Sunday, Church@The Square was packed out.  Providentially, the setup team had tried a different setup arrangement, so we were able to fit everyone who came into the BSU building where we are meeting on Sundays.  It was one of those services where every technical glitch imaginable happened, but God's Spirit just kept moving and stirring us as we worshiped together.

As we closed the service singing and praising Jesus, I couldn't help but tear up thinking about how God has brought our church family together.  What began as an idea has taken on flesh and is thriving and living just as Bryan and I had hoped and prayed.  If you walk in our church doors, you'll notice that our setup is very bare bones, because we are channeling all of our resources into making the Gospel known near and far away.  You'll see that there is no cookie cutter norm of how anyone should look, because we have faithful white haired folks full of wisdom to younger thug looking guys with tattoos.  We are all praising Jesus.  God is weaving a beautiful tapestry of people together to proclaim His name all along the Gulf Coast and farther.  Wherever we go, wherever we live, wherever we work, that is our mission field.  We are learning to be intentionally on mission and to leverage our gifts, skills, mistakes, and resources to making much of Jesus and to making disciples.

Seeing the church grow and thrive, Bryan and I just sit back and rejoice at what God has done.  We know every misstep we have taken along the way.  We had so many plans on how to reach out, how to let people know who we were and what we wanted to do that never happened.  During one of the most crucial stages of launching the church, God completely sidelined us with my tough pregnancy with Pax.  Now, I believe He did it, so we would just watch in awe and worship now.  We can't take any credit for what has happened.  We just get to rejoice and raise our hands in adoration to the Savior who is still saving lives and redeeming brokenness in our world.  In a city where many people are considered unchurched and turned off by church, God is working powerfully.

Folks, the Gospel isn't just a story.  It's a breathing, powerful testament of how the God of this universe madly and jealously loves you so much to send His precious Son Jesus to die to save you from your sins and restore you to what God created you to be.  It's about Jesus defeating death by rising from the dead and about Jesus inviting us into His Story so that the entire world will know how good He is and how only He can makes us whole.  It's worth giving your life for.  The Gospel changes you from inside out.

This year, watching Jesus awaken dead hearts to life and making the lame walk again has been priceless.  Jesus is alive.  His Church has a reason to stand together and rejoice.  God is doing something incredible in Gautier.  Jesus is making Himself known.  I am so very thankful for all of the roads that led us to Church@The Square.  May God continue to use us for His glory dear church family.  May we be united in Jesus and love each other and those around us so well that people know Jesus is alive.  You are dearly loved by God and us.

Happy Thanksgiving Church@The Square!

Learning to Dance...

What do you do when your idols are attacked?  (An idol is something we try to find our satisfaction or identity in apart from God) Do you repent and realize how much you depend on other things for happiness instead of Him?  Or, do you get angry at God for messing with "fill in the blank"?

This is a question I feel like I have been answering over and over again for the past 19 months.  That's how long my life has been hugely unsettled through many things... Bryan's job loss, our transition into church planting, a tough pregnancy, quite a few health problems amongst all of us, and recently my cholecystectomy.

This morning I woke up to find our living room floor was buckled and warped from a water leak.  We're still unsure of its source.  As Bryan scooted around on the floor with a flashlight trying to figure out what was going on, I felt the tears start to burn in my eyes and my heart sank.

You see... until this year, we had been debt free, except for our house, and we have had a reasonable emergency fund.  This past year when God asked us to plant Church@The Square, we stepped out in faith and took a huge financial risk.  God has been so good to provide in so many ways.  If you were on the outside looking in, you'd never know that we were walking a tight rope.  However, the past six months medical bills have come in faster than our incomes could provide, and it's been discouraging.

Thankfully, Bryan is now full-time with Church@The Square, and our hardest season financially is over.  It'll take a while to pay off what remains.

Here are my thoughts.

I have to make a choice right now. I can either keep praying that God will provide for our needs and work hard in a Biblical way to honor Him, or I can get angry at God for "letting" this happen.  I can either still believe that God is in control, or I can choose to believe the lie that God is indifferent and that it is up to me to fix everything.  If God has successfully provided so well to keep us debt free through many lean seasons until this point then He has a purpose in allowing us to accumulate debt in this season.

At least in part, I think He has allowed it to attack my personal idol... security.

If I have learned anything in the past year and half, I have learned that my security can only be in Christ.

When your husband suddenly finds Himself jobless, you lose part of your security.  You know you are insufficient to mend his heart wounds and to provide for your household.

When you start to plant a church, you are doing something "uncool" or "crazy."  Your security isn't in your identity as a church planter.  Most people just don't understand.

When you vomit 30 times a day and become too weak to take care of your family well because your pregnancy isn't going well, your security isn't in how good of a wife or homemaker you are.  You just feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

When your new baby is cranky and cries days on end, your security isn't in how good of a mom you are.  You feel like a failure.

When you finally are able to have the surgery you've needed for over a year, your security isn't in being independent anymore.  You need help while you are down to keep life going for everyone else in your home.

So, snap back to this morning... I'm tearing up and breathing a prayer to God for provision again.  As I sit down in my chair wondering how bad the damage is and how we are going to be able to replace the flooring and fix everything when our time is already stretched too thin, my sweet toddler princess comes up and asks me to turn on the worship music.  As I turn it on, she begins to twirl and dance in joy across our warped living room floor, and I am overwhelmed by the realization that God is inviting me to do the same.  He is inviting me to dance with Him in this glorious, messy life and just trust Him to make it all right in the end.

I don't know how my story will play out, but I am not supposed to.  God is my heavenly Father, and He loves me and will provide for our needs.  I don't need security to be happy or at peace- I just need Him.  I need to rest in Jesus and dance.

Ironfish

A few weeks ago, we were surprised to receive an encouraging letter from a couple in North Carolina.  They had stumbled upon our church website through a carousel image I had promoted on Pinterest.  In addition to their kind words, they sent along these gifts.  Pretty cool, huh?  Apparently, the husband is a blacksmith, and they sell cross and fish jewelry and keychains created from bent nails. 

God has been so kind to our family through others.  Moments like this really make me excited about heaven.  It's a taste of what it means to be part of the body of Christ.  It's a taste of the perfect unity we will have one day in heaven... the unity we are striving towards now as the Church.  As believers, we are all connected through Jesus... young and old... black and white... pastor and blacksmith.

Awesome. I know.


Check out their company "Ironfish."  They do great work!

February Already?!!

Time is going by so fast!  I can't believe it has already been a month since we launched Church@The Square.  This new season of life is so different than the other ones we have experienced before.  Diving full-time into church planting on a part-time salary, we have had to rearrange schedules and rework how to make life happen right now.  Lots of change.  Lots of pressure.  Lots of prayers.  Lots of growth.

Here's what is happening.  We are still running Peripety Designs, our web design business, as part-time "tentmakers" to supplement Bryan's pastoral salary, until the church is able to support us all the way.  God has brought Scott Capers onto our church leadership team to head up leading worship.  We are still praying that God would provide the right people to lead our children's ministry and youth ministry.

As for our launch in January, it was what we would consider a "soft" launch, because we didn't do any advertising to let people know where we were and when we were starting.  We wanted to have the opportunity to work out any kinks in our service before we started letting people know we were meeting.  Even still, God has been bringing new families to join the mission since our first week.  In attendance, we average about 40... sometimes having more and sometimes having less.  The energy and excitement of being part of the Body on mission in your city and area is a beautiful thing.

We are very aware that when people attend a church plant that they are willingly giving up other conveniences that larger churches have to offer.  They are coming because they want to be part of something new and make a difference for Jesus with something simple.  Seeing so many families give their time to make this happen is incredible.  Seeing these same serving families meet throughout the week in our community groups to flesh out each week's sermons in their personal lives is refreshing.  Instead of warming pews (which we don't have to begin with), we are seeing believers rediscover God's purpose for their lives and become excited about about the mission of Jesus all over again.

I love being part of Church@The Square.  I love how God is working through it and in it.  I am praying big prayers for our future, because God is a really big God.

Here are five ways you can pray with us for Church@The Square:

1) Pray that our church would grow where Bryan could receive a full-time salary soon.  It's a huge balancing act to manage a new church and a home business at the same time.  While we are thankful for God's provision through Peripety, we would love to see Bryan be able to fully devote his attention and energy into our church.  After all, his life's calling is to be a pastor, not a web developer (even if he is really good at that too!).

2) Pray that God would bring the right people into our leadership team to serve Jesus in our church and community.  Pray that God would provide for their needs so they would be financially able to serve in a new church where all of the staff is bivocational.

3) Pray that God would continue to bring solid families into our church to strengthen our core group, so we will have the volunteer base we need to minister to our families and the unchurched families that are coming in.

4) Pray that God would be gracious and allow us to reach out to people who don't know Jesus and bring them into our church family.  Our goal is to be a multiracial, multigenerational church that loves Jesus faithfully in diversity.  We don't want to replicate cookie cutter images of ourselves.  We want to see the Gospel impact people where they are and change them into the image of Jesus in their own context.

5) Pray that our upcoming outreach events would be fruitful in our community.  Pray that God would open doors for us to connect to hurting people that need Jesus and that their hearts would be primed for the Gospel.  I can think of nothing more exciting than seeing Jesus move in Gautier in the areas that have been unpenetrated by the Word.

Thanks in advance for your prayers.  Our God hears them and answers them.  Our church wouldn't exist now if not for them.  In the end, it's all about Jesus!  Check out our new church website if you'd like to learn more about us at http://www.churchatthesquare.com.

Another Season Begins

Today, I cried like a baby in church.  They were happy tears, thankful tears.  This morning marked another season ending and another one that is beginning.

Nine months ago, I wandered into Mosaic Church grieving, scared, confused, and as broken as I have ever been.  The most fiery trial of our lives had begun, and I was seeking refuge for a Sunday in a nearby church where no one knew me while my husband faced fierce persecution back at the church we had been serving at for over three years.  I'll never forget my first Sunday at Mosaic, because it gave me hope when the world I knew was falling apart.  That Sunday at Mosaic, Dustin, the lead pastor, was teaching that the Gospel was the best thing that can happen to you, even if it ruins your life.  I sobbed on the back pew knowing that it was true but hurting all the same.  I saw the same Gospel that we were being persecuted for thriving and living around me as this church brought in people of all races, ages, and backgrounds into a packed out skating ring.  It was the most unconventional church I had ever been to, and I loved every minute of it.  We sang a worship song that had offended lead people at our other church, and I stood in awe as worshippers around me joyfully sang it.  As our ministry was ending in one church because of the Gospel, I saw another ministry thriving because of it.

Mosaic Church has welcomed our family into it during this transitional period.  Since Bryan has been an interim pastor at another church in the same city, I have been attending Mosaic to have a time of healing from our last ministry.  The staff and members of Mosaic have loved and served my family and me well this past year.  I will forever be grateful that God allowed me to be part of a congregation where no one knew me or my story and where I had the privacy and space to grieve and heal.   I couldn't be more grateful for their partnership with us now as we plant Church@The Square.  We are weeks away from Church@The Square's public launch service.  Sundays from now, Bryan will be finishing his interim time at his current church and will be plunging full-time into his role as the lead pastor of Church@The Square.  It's a huge leap of faith for us in every way, but we have anticipated this coming day with great expectation.

Today was bittersweet, and the service couldn't have been more custom fit for my last Sunday morning at Mosaic.  Dustin, the lead pastor was out of town, so Sean, the community pastor, was preaching in his place.  His message was about the Gospel and suffering through trials.  I think I cried the whole time he was speaking, because I kept thinking about how far God has brought my family and me this year.  God has been so good to us.  He has brought me from a place of desperate brokenness to a place of healing and joy.  Only God can turn your worst nightmare into your ultimate dream.  When Sean finished speaking, the worship band closed the service in the same song that started our trial.  At that point, I sobbed again.  This time, not in anger or grief as I had many months ago, but in complete praise to the God who is our Healer.  In what seemed to be the Gospel failing as we were rejected by a church, the Gospel was actually prevailing.  We were being released from a traditional church setting and sent out into a community that desperately needs to see the Church body working in a way that speaks to their culture.  Our "failure" in one ministry was really just the birth of another.

I am so thankful that God never abandoned us.  His silence during our persecution felt like He had forgotten us, but I know now that He was purifying and preparing us.  He was strengthening our faith- teaching us the endurance we would need to do something radical and out of the ordinary.  Though I grieved then, I rejoice now.  I look forward to our future at Church@The Square.  God is faithful.  He will accomplish His purpose for us in His time His way.  Here's to a new season of life as we plunge full-time into church planting.

1 Peter 1:6-9

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁶ So be truly glad.^[a] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
 ⁸ You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. ⁹ The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

Sunrise

Since we were traveling over Thanksgiving break and busy preparing for our trip before, I'm a little late writing a blog about the things I am thankful for this year.  But hey, better late than never, right?

This year has been one of the hardest years of my life, and it has been one of the best.  I can honestly say with complete joy that some of the most painful things we have been through have been used by God for our good and His good.  Months ago, I wasn't sure I felt that way.  It was just head knowledge that I was hoping would penetrate my heart in time.

Today, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy for the journey we are on.  This year I have been sanctified through fire, tears, illness, heartache, loss, and uncertainty. When I look back over the last nine months, I see how God has used a painful period to usher in a period of deep healing for me and our family on many levels.

After several possible miscarriages this year, one at Easter, one in May, and one in June, God answered our prayers.  Before scheduling an appointment with a fertility doctor to try to figure out why we were miscarrying again and again, I took a pregnancy test just to not feel foolish when we walked into his office.  To our surprise, we were pregnant.  Again to our surprise and joy, we didn't miscarry.  Not coincidentally, our son's due date is Easter Sunday.  Where we felt loss and sadness Easter 2011, God has brought joy and peace through another child expected on Easter 2012.

Leaving a church at the beginning of the year was something that neither Bryan nor I had foreseen.  What started out as a scary nightmare has turned out into the greatest adventure of our marriage.  We have been supported and loved by our families, friends, and our new church family.  Without either of us having a single full-time job in a tanking economy, we have had all of our financial needs met this year.  With our hodge podge of multiple jobs, God has provided for us so well that we have been able to stay debt free (besides our home), even with multiple medical problems rising, and we have been able to be generous with others in need as well.  God is so very good.  God's provision during this unusual season of our life has been needed confirmation that we are indeed planting His church- not ours.

I love our ministry at Church@The Square.  It is so refreshing to be part of a church that matches our personalities, gifts, and vision perfectly.  We love the simplicity of meeting in a "borrowed building" on Sundays so that our church resources can be funneled back into the Kingdom without as much overhead.  We love that our church body is made up of people all different ages, backgrounds, and races.  We love that people feel welcome when walking through the doors and are hearing the Gospel sometimes for the first time clearly.  There is so much more that I am excited about, but I'll have to save that for another blog all of its own.  Can you believe our launch is only a month away now???!!!

I am so thankful for Jesus.  What other god takes things meant for evil and turns them into good?  There are still things I don't like- don't understand.  I am so thankful that weeping only lasts for a night and that joy comes in the morning.  Like the Proverbs 31 woman, I can look at the future and laugh.  Though life is uncertain and at times very difficult, the joy we have in Christ is unshakeable and helps us overcome all things.  In Christ, we can look at the future and smile.  Even if things do not get better for us in this life, we know we have one to come as believers... a life where all things wrong will be made right and where peace will reign and night will be no more.  The morning is coming beloved Christian.  Take heart and be thankful.  Jesus will not let us down.  Close your eyes when you are discouraged and anticipate it.  The sun is rising.  Our Master's return is near.

Updates for Our Prayer Warriors

First and foremost, thank you for all of the prayers.  We have so many people praying for us, and we appreciate it more than words can say.

Here are a few health updates for those who have been praying for me:

• I haven't had any more crazy stroke-like episodes so far.  We are cutting back life stressors as much as we can to slow down a little.
• I'm seeing Dr. Evans September 19th to try to follow-up with a neurology clinic and see where we go from here.  That was the soonest I could be worked in with a referral.
• My test for Factor V Leiden came back negative.  That means we don't have any answers for why I have miscarried in the past, but we at least know I don't have this blood disorder.
• I'm super nauseated and sick with reflux every day, but I have found out that there is a possible connection between dairy and something else (still trying to figure it out) that makes me have worse nights.  Let's just say I have tried every reflux trick out there and nothing is completely correcting it.  It's hard to think about spending the next 7 months hugging the toilet, but I don't regret it for Abby.  I'm sure I won't regret it with this baby either.
• I'm scheduled to see Abby's allergy doctor September 19 as well to see if maybe I have pregnancy induced lactose and gluten intolerance.  I read a few articles about it and the symptoms do seem to match mine.  Who knows???  Until then, I'm trying to be careful with my diet and eat as blandly as possible in small spread out meals.

As for the church plant, here are a few updates:

• We are now receiving financial support from Mosaic Church in Ocean Springs and Ridglea Heights in Escatawpa (as well as those who are part of the church plant).  That has enabled our family to start receiving some financial support from Church @ The Square.  Perfect timing!  It's not quite a full salary yet, but it has been a big stress relief for us to be able to cut back in our "tent-making skills" to focus more on the church.
• Because of my health scare a couple of weeks ago and a few other factors, Bryan decided to slow down with his school schedule this semester to spend more time investing in Church @ The Square and being home right now.  It means he won't graduate in December, but he will still graduate soon.
• Church@ The Square was able to move into the BSU building last month, and that has been a HUGE blessing.  We had outgrown our home, and it is great having more space.  Now, we are making some changes we need order to prepare for more families in the future.

Ways you can pray for us right now:

• God would continue to keep me and our baby safe during this pregnancy.
• God would continue to provide for our family financially through Church@The Square, so we can focus on our ministry here in Gautier more.
• This terrible nausea and reflux would pass quickly.
• God would send leaders to help Church@The Square reach out in Gautier more effectively.
• God would prepare the hearts of the unchurched people here in Gautier to receive Jesus and become part of our church body.
• Bryan would have wisdom and creativity in leading Church@The Square well.

I'm sure there are other ways that I am missing.  Here are some ideas for those of you who like lists. Thank you for partnering with us to reach the unchurched in Gautier and along the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  Jesus is worth our sacrifices.