Coming Home Again

I've taken a mini hiatus lately from blogging because I have been really working on reorganizing my life.  Long before Pax was born, our family fell into what I like to call "survival mode."  It was a season of not really thriving but just making the best of some back to back rocky seasons.  Praise God, a month ago, Little Boo was diagnosed with lactose intolerance, and a simple switch to soy formula has given us a new baby.  My sweet guy now sleeps, eats, and plays happily.  I feel like I am coming out of a fog.

Six months into being a family of four, I have become very aware that there are quite a few things out of order in our lives.  Our home has become quite chaotic as schedules aren't meshing, important things are being forgotten, and Bryan and I have only been together to discuss kids, church affairs, and website business.  Not ideal.

As I've been praying and working through a study on Biblical womanhood, I've been convicted that part of the reason for all of the disorder is me.  Ouch.  In many ways, I've forgotten my most important assignments... being a Godly wife and mom.  As a Biblical woman, being a Godly wife and mom are non-negotiable.  These are bed rock priorities.  Neglecting my role isn't just a bad idea, its fruit can make people think the Gospel is a joke.  That's serious stuff.

Sure, you say, coming to my defense.  You're a great wife.  You're a great mom.  You stay home with your kids but run a web design business from your home office.

Yeah, I do, but at a great cost.  My heart has begun to wander from home.

I've found myself more and more lately realizing that there aren't enough hours in the day to design logos, build websites, manage projects, cook supper, clean dishes, wash clothes, feed the kids, diaper Boo, and eliminate dust mites.  That's not even touching the additional responsibilities and challenges that come from being married to a church planter with an ever shifting schedule.  It just isn't possible. In the busyness of life's routine, I haven't been thriving.  I have been surviving.  I haven't been a great manager of our home.  I have taken on more than what I can handle.

In light of studying God's Word, I've realized that I have had role confusion.  Instead of thriving in my role as a nurturer and wife, I've been trying to shoulder Bryan's responsibility as being the provider of our family too.  I've neglected my role to the harm of everyone around me, because I underestimated its importance.  Am I saying that a woman can't work outside the home?  Absolutely not.  I just believe that Scripture teaches that in an ideal situation you shouldn't work outside the home if you aren't already managing your other responsibilities well.  I'm not.

On a side note, if you are capable of running your home well, loving your husband well, managing your kids well, and working out of the home well, you are awesome.  You are the Proverbs 31 woman.  I hope I can be you one day.  I'm just saying I'm not there yet.

Here's where I am.

I'm coming home.  I am backing down drastically on how many website projects I take on every month, because I want to invest in my family more.  I want to love my husband so well that I make him the greatest pastor he can be.  I want to be a worthy helpmate.  After all, that's why Eve was created (Sorry feminists... it's true).  I don't want to be so busy working on my career goals and finding self-fulfillment in doing something I love that I forget to help my husband accomplish God's calling in his life.  I think we can do more good for the Kingdom of God together than apart.  Hence, marriage.

With the kids, I want to be a Godly mother who isn't stressed out because they are wrecking my business task list.  I want to invest in these young years by loving my children and training them well, because this is the only time in their lives when I will be given the gift of being their primary influencer.  I want them to be primed to love Jesus and to make Biblical decisions.  I want to know their hearts, know their struggles, and be everything to them that God has called me to be.

In our home, I want it to be a place of order and rest.  I don't mean a sterile place where everything is perfect and nothing can be touched.  I want it to be a place that is organized and open to others.  I want it be managed so well that I don't stroke out when someone drops by unexpectedly.  I want our meals to be healthier than last minute fast food runs because "Mom worked too late again."  I want our home to give my family a glimpse of heaven so that they hunger for it even more.  You get the picture.

It's a tall order I know.  It's going to mean sacrifice to make it happen.  It means we'll be living on less again.  It means most people will think we are weird... I'm weird.  But, that's ok.  It's not about me.  It's about Jesus.  It's about trusting God and His idea of Biblical roles and learning to love my family and my home well.

Titus 2 

1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled,sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.  

If you're curious about learning more about Biblical womanhood, check out this link here:
http://www.reviveourhearts.com/resource-library/30-day-challenges/

I've been participating in the 30 Day True Woman Makeover and have found it encouraging, convicting, and helpful. If you're a woman, may God give you grace to be a Biblical woman who loves Him and others well!

Why I Don't Want to Be a Dumb Primate

An excerpt from Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover"...

Eric Butterworth tells of an interesting system used to capture monkeys in the jungle. The captors use heavy glass bottles with long necks. Into each bottle they deposit some sweet-smelling nuts. The aroma of the nuts attracts a monkey to the bottle. When the monkey puts its hand into the bottle to get the nuts, the neck of the bottle is to small for its fist to come back out. The monkey can't take his hand out of the bottle without dropping the nuts, which he is unwilling to do. The bottles are too heavy to carry away, so the monkey becomes trapped by nothing more than greed. We may smile at these foolish monkeys, but how many times has our freedom been taken away by nothing more than our greed?

The answer- "Live like no one else so you can live like no one else."

“Do not be conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2

Lately, God has been really dealing with me about the topic of money. Staying at home and learning to live off of one income (a fairly modest one at that) has been frugality boot camp for us as a family. No matter how much we have or will have one day- I want to be content with what I have, a faithful steward with what I am given, and I want to be a ridiculous giver for the glory of Jesus.

P.S. Our church is offering Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course this fall. We're offering two free previews within days. One on August 30- 5 p.m. The other on August 31- 6 p.m. Hope you can come- it'll be life-changing!

Counterculture

I was talking to a young wife recently and this is how the conversation went...

-She really wanted to stay at home with her kids one day when she became a mom but wasn't sure about leaving her job to live off of her husband's salary alone. She said that she hoped that her child's future caregiver would not tell her when the child experienced his/her first landmarks, such as crawling, talking, etc. She wanted to be able to pretend that her first time to witness those things when she was off work was really the "first" time that they had happened. She shared with me that a female relative had found a great daycare where they had followed this pattern. She was hoping she could find the same, because she was going to be miserable if she was reminded how much she was missing out on at work.-

This conversation has pierced me and sent me on a tangent of thoughts. Why is it in our culture that staying at home with our children is shameful if we have an education? Don't get me wrong- I feel the pressure. Daily. But, wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if the moms of us, who could choose to stay at home, did and actually invested all of our education, time, and energy into producing the Godliest children this world has seen in generations? Sure, we wouldn't be the families with the fanciest houses, the newest clothes, or the slickest cars, but maybe, more of us would be happy. Maybe, more of our kids would stay in church when they left our homes one day as adults. Maybe, this world would see a revival and renewal that would shake its very foundation for the glory of God's name. Maybe, we would find out all of the stuff we really "needed" was not really a need at all. Jesus was enough. Because, He is.

"But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine... Older women... are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:1-5 (emphasis mine)

I'm reading an incredible book right now. "God, Marriage, and Family. Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation." by Andreas J. Kostenberger. Check it out!