Living Faith in a Marriage

I first watched the video of this couple's testimony this past year, and I was deeply moved.  I cannot imagine living in their circumstances.  Jesus is so very good and faithful.

This love story is absolutely beautiful.




Here's an update a year later:

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/ian-and-larissa-one-year-later

The Crucible

I've been taking a mini hiatus from blogging for about 2 weeks, because the truth is I have been far too emotional to write anything rational.  I've had great up's seeing God answer big prayers for us and loved ones and great low's as I see how messed up this world really is.  When I write, I'm sharing with you a piece of my heart, and lately, I haven't known how to put it into words.

This morning, I'm going to explode if I don't write again.  Here's what is on my mind.

I am absolutely going to freak out if I hear of another marriage failing right now.  

I am so tired of seeing sweet friends struggle with crazy husbands.  It breaks my heart.

As a girl, I am biased to our side, but here's the deal.

Guys, if you don't fight for your wives, we are doomed.  We are the weaker vessel, according to the Bible, not because we do not have anything to offer this world but because of the intentional way God created us. We are fine china.  When you beat us up verbally, emotionally, and physically, we break- sometimes permanently.  When you do that, you are not loving us the way you are commanded to in Scripture.  You are supposed to love us like Jesus loved and still loves the Church- talk about a high standard!

Ladies, your husband is a sinner.  He likely isn't the main character of a romance novel, but you can help him out a whole lot of you will just respect him and learn to practice Godly submission as the Church is supposed to relate to Jesus.  I'm not talking about bowing down to a dictator or enduring abuse (if this is you, get help fast from a Godly counselor!).  If we do not build our husbands up and believe in them, who else will?  The world is going to tear him down. Satan is out to destroy your marriage.  If we are not wise to that, he will.

I expect to hear about nasty stuff going on between unbelievers, because they don't know our Jesus.  Hearing about it going on in the Church is shameful and saddening.  I'm not talking about misunderstandings and disagreements that are inevitable when two different people come together to become one.  I'm talking about cut-throat fighting, verbal and physical abuse, and hatred pressure cooked in a home that is supposed to be living out God's grace.

Now, I'm not writing this to cast condemnation.  I'm pretty sure that we all feel enough of that each day from our own consciences that you do not need to hear it from me.   My marriage isn't perfect, and I am not the wife I should be yet.  Listen up.

Jesus does matter.  He died and rose again so we could have life now.  If your marriage is struggling, He can heal it.  If your spouse is a jerk, He can give you the strength to respect him.  If your wife is impossible, Jesus can change her heart (you can't).   If your marriage is in trouble, don't bury your head- admit it and find help.  Look for older couples that are happily married, and ask questions- lots of questions.  Seek a worthy Biblical counselor, and don't think that your pastor is always a good substitute for that.  Plenty of ministry marriages are in shambles too.  Pray big prayers with a trusted friend.  If your marriage fails or has failed, you are not hopeless and forsaken- Jesus can redeem that too.

I am convinced that God did not create marriage just to make us happy (though it is hopefully a great side benefit).  Marriage is the crucible that God often uses to purify us and sanctify us.   As a single person, I thought I was pretty spiritual and had it together.  Marriage has revealed just how sinful I am to the core of my being, and guess what, I found out Bryan is a pretty big sinner too.

Years ago when our marriage was headed down a path of destruction, God woke us up and began to really work in our hearts.  Today, I am so thankful that I stuck it out.  We'll be celebrating five years this summer.  I love my husband more than the day we married, and we have seen really good times and really bad times together.  I pray that as the Church we will strive towards seeing that our marriages represent the Gospel and become part of our world's redemption story.  May God give us the grace to live up to such an impossible goal.  May our children see the joy and fruit of our struggles and know that God really can make two sinners become one flesh. May God save our marriages.  An unbelieving world will find Jesus completely unbelievable if His love doesn't change how we love each other (Jn.13:35).

We're Dancing in the Minefields

Bryan, this one's for you...



We're Dancing in the Minefields Lyrics


I was nineteen, you were twenty-one
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much too young
But we did it anyway

We bought our rings for forty each
From a pawn shop down the road
We made our vows and took the leap
Now fifteen years ago

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

'Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/andrew_peterson/#share

Divine Interruption

Well, it turns out that the reason I was uncomfortable the night before last was because I was developing a sinus infection. Apparently, a sinus infection plus an almost healed nose fracture equals misery. Conveniently, exactly where I fractured my nose is where the infection is the worst. Thanks to my local doctor who called in antibiotics for me, I can already tell after 3 doses that I will survive (I know you were worried).

Besides the facial pain, the worst part is not having the energy I need to keep up with Abby. As always, God times everything perfectly. Since Bryan is preaching a revival here in Memphis, I have had plenty of help during the day in between his times of studying. Since we are not at home, I don't have to feel guilty about resting for most of the day when I can. We may not be sightseeing as I had originally planned, but I am thankful for a time of unexpected rest and for a great husband who practices what he preaches.

My Husband Is Impressive!

This past week we celebrated 3 amazing years of marriage.  Looking back, some of the hardest times have brought us the closest.  Though, we have had many good times too!  I'm so thankful for all that we have shared and look forward to many more good years to come.  Being married to my best friend is the most incredible 

blessing imaginable.  This year, Bryan really impressed me with an unbelievable anniversary surprise (just so you know, it is very difficult to truly surprise me).

We went to my parents' camp on the river for this past week to celebrate our anniversary and to vacation.  When we arrived, Bryan led me on an elaborate scavenger hunt through many wonderful childhood memories until I arrived at my gift.  I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I did!

*************************************************************************

#1  "Memories light the heart's fireplace,

Bloom with joy and give us grace.

But nothing can quite exceed,

The joy of planting memory's seed.

So, here's to sowing one more field,

Hearts of joy, forever sealed.

It starts with one, but maybe two,

On each card, you'll find your clue.

With each, you'll stroll down memories lane,

And wonder how many more remain.

To find the next, you'll have to gaze,

Of playing house in former days.

This ancient relic beneath us sits,

And often housed your dirty sticks.

So go now and find your clue,

Beneath an imaginary pot of stew."

(The antique stove I played on downstairs as a kid)

#2  "Very good, and well done.

Maybe now we're having fun.

Go find the lighter version now,

Upstairs it waits to show you how.

It came at Christmas, I've seen the picture,

It sits below a nice old fixture.

Cooking, still, is the game,

But its texture isn't the same."

(My Party Kitchen Stove Still Housed in the Camp's Living Room)

#3- "Back and forth the motion goes, 

Can you reach the tree, with your toes?

Again and again you used to try,

Your dad must have thought you'd die.

It sits just one, all you need,

Fewer helps increase the speed."

(My Childhood Swing Underneath the Camp)

#4- "Now, another ancient piece,

I'd replace it--- good grief

But you have liked it for some reason, 

Though it's a little out of season.

When you look, it looks back,

And can hold your coat like a rack.

Candles, trinkets, and other junk

It's right beside the place we bunk."

(An Antique Armoire My Grandmother's Uncle Built By Hand)

#5- I hope you've had some memories come,

You've followed well, here's one last crumb.

This bag mocked and tempted before,

Made you hope and long for more.

Maybe this time it won't disappoint,

This final word will make my point.

Memories are made each passing day,

This new toy will help them stay.

(A Nikon Case that Houses My Grandfather's Antique Movie Camera)

What I Found Inside the Old Nikon Case...

My Nikon D60!!!!

YAY!

Many More Photos to Come!

Counterculture

I was talking to a young wife recently and this is how the conversation went...

-She really wanted to stay at home with her kids one day when she became a mom but wasn't sure about leaving her job to live off of her husband's salary alone. She said that she hoped that her child's future caregiver would not tell her when the child experienced his/her first landmarks, such as crawling, talking, etc. She wanted to be able to pretend that her first time to witness those things when she was off work was really the "first" time that they had happened. She shared with me that a female relative had found a great daycare where they had followed this pattern. She was hoping she could find the same, because she was going to be miserable if she was reminded how much she was missing out on at work.-

This conversation has pierced me and sent me on a tangent of thoughts. Why is it in our culture that staying at home with our children is shameful if we have an education? Don't get me wrong- I feel the pressure. Daily. But, wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if the moms of us, who could choose to stay at home, did and actually invested all of our education, time, and energy into producing the Godliest children this world has seen in generations? Sure, we wouldn't be the families with the fanciest houses, the newest clothes, or the slickest cars, but maybe, more of us would be happy. Maybe, more of our kids would stay in church when they left our homes one day as adults. Maybe, this world would see a revival and renewal that would shake its very foundation for the glory of God's name. Maybe, we would find out all of the stuff we really "needed" was not really a need at all. Jesus was enough. Because, He is.

"But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine... Older women... are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:1-5 (emphasis mine)

I'm reading an incredible book right now. "God, Marriage, and Family. Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation." by Andreas J. Kostenberger. Check it out!