Who am I? That's the question we ask ourselves over and over again. I recently joined the street team for Pastor Mark Driscoll to promote his new book, "Who Do You Think You Are?" and received a free copy of the book to review it and promote it on the social media outlets I'm on. I can't tell you how excited I am about this book coming out right now.
God is so gracious to give us resources to serve and love Him better when we really need it. This book is timely for me.
I grew up being the "smart kid" in class. I didn't choose the label- it chose me. In fact, though I naturally like to talk to people and meet people, I became more and more introverted as I progressed through school. I figured out pretty fast that if I didn't talk much that I could hide how "smart" I was from everyone else. I absolutely resented my intelligence being the only thing people knew about me. I was so much more!
Year after year goes by, the "smart kid" label sticks, so I give up. I submit to the identity, so I decide that if I'm the smart kid that I better choose a "smart kid" career path. I did. I chose to go towards the medical field... the obvious choice in my mind for successful people. So, I took AP classes. I scored high on tests. I became the valedictorian. When people teased me, I comforted myself with the fact that one day they'd be working for me or wish they were me. It was sad. It was selfish. It was true.
"In the eyes of God, our choices, values, expenditures, words, actions, and thoughts are all acts of worship. They make up our identity. The only question is, what is your object of worship?" Mark Driscoll... Who Do You Think You Are?
Fast forward to college, I'm dating a guy I want to marry, so I choose to become a nurse instead of a doctor. I thought that would be easier with a family life, but I'm still completely career driven. I work hard, make good grades, graduate in the top of my nursing class, and secure a great job with decent benefits. I'm married in the midst of it all but don't slow down any with climbing my career ladder that I have planned out. Then, crash.
A car accident later, I'm stuck in a wheelchair, angry at God, and helpless to do anything without my new husband's assistance.
Enter: the identity crisis. I was no longer able to be defined by how "valuable" I was. In my mind, a "smart girl" in a wheelchair was still a cripple. I was so stuck on being perfect that anything less was broken and ruined.
It's been almost six years now since that terrible accident, and I am so very grateful for it now. God used that abrasive life interruption to completely change my life course. It was there in the stillness, the pain, the shame, and the anger that God began to work in my heart and teach me who I really was in Christ.
I wasn't a cripple. I was the daughter of the King. God didn't know me just as a "smart kid." He knew me inside and out. I was dearly loved. Treasured. I was His.
God wanted to use me to tell His story through mine. Though my whole life I had been striving to make much of myself to cover the hurt I felt inside, God invited me to make much of Him and find peace by living life His way for His glory instead.
"You aren't what you do but rather what Jesus has done for you." Mark Driscoll... Who Do You Think You Are?
I'd like to tell you from that point on that I have had my identity figured out. It's been a journey. God has led me through many different seasons and changes, and each time I have learned to let go more of an identity I had tried to make for myself. I'm learning to find out who I am in Jesus.
Being married to a church planter, I meet tons of people and learn about their joys and their struggles. We are all searching for an identity. Few find it in Jesus.
It's my prayer that as I work through this book myself that God will solidify who I am in Christ and that I will be able to share this review with you to help you figure out who you are too.
I invite you to take this journey with me. You can download a free chapter of the book here.
As of today, you can also buy the entire book to read yourself. So here we go, dear friends, let's explore who we were created to be.