Learning to walk is his goal from the time he wakes up until the time he crashes these days.
This morning, Pax was actually using his walker to practice walking. Novel idea, huh? He was fast tracking back and forth in his bedroom until he tried to push it out the very uneven door opening between his bedroom and the hallway. Crash! Somehow, Paxman flipped upside down and landed with his back legs in the air half dangling over his upside down walk behind.
He screamed in anger and in pain. I picked him up and sat him in my lap to assess the damage. Any bleeding? Nope. Any bruises? Not yet. Before I could continue my assessment, Pax had squirmed out of my arms and was squealing in rage at his walker and crawling back towards it in determination to finish the job he had started. He was going to push that thing through the doorway.
Failure was unacceptable.
By the time Pax reached his walk behind, he was no longer growling in frustration, he was squealing with delight. What had started as a huge disappointment had become an even more fun toy. With the walker flipped upside down, Pax now had better access to the wheels. He stood proudly beside them and spinned them with his tiny fingers as fast as he could and giggled.
|An instagram of Paxman soaring past me in our bedroom the other day|
Failure was forgotten as it unearthed something new. Something better than he would have thought of on his own without it.
As I'm watching my son in amusement, a light bulb went off in my head. The same happens to us. Sometimes, we're going head on with life pursuing our agenda, our goals, our dreams, and everything flips on us unexpectedly. We end up wounded and frustrated. We cry out in anger at God for messing up "our plans." In His goodness and grace, our Father God picks us up, heals our wounds, and feeling comforted, we plunge back forward and begin going again. As we face our failures in His light, the shame we once felt begins to fade away, and in the wake of our tragedy, we discover something new. We discover that our failures were actually paving the way for a greater story, a better one than we could have planned ourselves. We learn that, indeed, all things work out for good for those who love God and who are called according to His purposes.
1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
Go forth dear child of God. Blaze the trail Jesus has placed you on. Do not fear your failures. God is bigger than they are. Be afraid not to live. Go forth. Your Father is good. He is watching and listening. He will comfort you when you fall then He will set you back on His course again. You are part of a great story, precious believer. The greatest story of all time. Your life may seem like a failure right now as you try to follow after Jesus, but at the end of time, we'll look back in confidence and say that His story was greater than anything we could have planned on our own. So for now, do not fear.
Go live for Him.
But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me.