Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Learning to Walk Again

This weekend signified a huge shift in our household.  Pax has begun the journey of becoming a walker.  Therefore, nothing... I mean nothing is safe anymore.  Our house has become one huge obstacle course, and our little guy has danced, side stepped, and stood to his heart's content.  We have heard thud after thud after thud as our Boo has practiced standing and stepping alongside anything that could hold up his weight (or not).  We have all cooed and smiled and urged our brave man along.  Not once have we scolded him for not doing a better job.  We've applauded and cheered as if he was breaking world records in babyhood.  His struggles and efforts are our joys as he conquers one developmental milestone at a time.  Watching Paxman grow is a joy.

Showing off his skills at church Sunday.

This past month I have been making traction in studying Biblical womanhood and applying those truths to my life.  It's been a hugely difficult transition from being a business oriented mom to a family oriented mom.  I have stumbled and fell more than once, and I have struggled with discouragement off and on because this shift has not been natural.  I LOVE my family, but it is so much easier to love ME.

I am convinced living life Biblically is impossible to do without the Spirit's help.  Jesus told us His path was straight and narrow and that few find it, but in our pseudo-Christian culture, it's easy to believe that Christianity is the norm.  It's not.  Being a Christ follower isn't a checklist of going to church, following a few moral guidelines, and giving a tithe.  It's hard.  It's messy.  It means losing everything for the sake of the Gospel, so that we can find Jesus is everything we really need.  Living Biblically will cost you.  That's why so many people listened to Jesus' teachings then walked away.  Remember the rich young ruler?

Since my last blog post, I've been challenged over and over again through unreal spiritual warfare about the decision I have made to live out the Gospel through loving my husband and children well.  And no, I don't throw around that term "spiritual warfare" loosely.  However, when we follow Jesus head on and leave this world behind, we are dangerous.  We are a threat to Satan's kingdom.  There is no one closer to rocking this world for the glory of Christ than the person who chooses to follow Jesus and abandon everything they used to worship instead.

The struggles are real.  Putting flesh on this decision has been uncomfortable, self-denying, and honestly at times quite terrifying.  I'm not in control anymore.  I like control.  I will say that God's grace has proven more faithful than I have ever known.  His Presence has been evident more powerfully than I have ever known.  His mission has burned in my heart more brightly and clearly than it has in years.  I am feeling in sync with His Spirit.  I have peace.  That is priceless.

What is this looking like in our daily life?  Our home life is shifting from a place of chaos and disorder into a place of peace and joy. I've been decluttering and simplifying our home and our routines.  I've discovered that excess takes up energy we don't have, and we want our lives to be about the Gospel- not stuff.   My relationship with Bryan is better than it has been in a long time.  We are actually spending quality time together when we put the kids to bed.  We've limited our tv time to one show a week, and we spend our evenings together actually connecting instead of just vegging out.  The changes with the kids have been remarkable.  I mean they are 3 years and 7 months.  I didn't expect one month to affect them much, but it has.  They are happier and more at peace together.  Because I am not investing my best energies into websites and graphic design, they are getting the attention they need to thrive and develop well.  Abby's attitude has improved hugely, and she is learning how to love her brother well and see him as a joy instead of a burden.  Maybe she's learning from my example?  Ouch.

We haven't arrived at perfection.  We won't.  It's about the journey.  It's about the effort of learning to walk as Jesus would have us walk.  It's about learning to carry our cross, so that others would see how great He is... not how amazing we are.  The cost of becoming a Biblical woman in an ungodly culture is high sweet sisters in Christ, but the cost of missing this is even higher.  Just like we applaud Pax right now for learning to take his first steps, I know God applauds us and cheers us on.  He isn't expecting perfection, but God does demand obedience.  I pray that this blog will encourage many of you to begin your journey in following Christ no matter the cost, even if Dave Ramsey wouldn't approve. :)

Here's a link to the study I just completed on Biblical Womanhood if you're curious and want more info.


TheKryptonian said...

I'm glad you still deem blogging to be of value! Your story needs to be shared - Soli Deo Gloria!

PS: I was a little worried when I read your first mention of a biblical womanhood study ;)

/obscure joke

Anna said...

Haha... understood! I was given this study and was pretty skeptical at first myself. I enjoy blogging too much to give it up. Life has just been too busy to do it lately even though I have a ton of blogs waiting in queue in my head to be posted.

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